Shame, Empathy, Resilience and Behavioral Health
According to Tangey and Dearing, authors of Shame and Guilt, empathy is the “good” moral affective capacity or experience leading us in moral directions and diverting us from paths of vice or perdition. Empathy is an emotion that allows us to interpret and effectively respond to the emotional states of others. Empathy allows us to evaluate our own responses to the emotions of others and allows us to correct our responses to their emotions.
Researcher Helen Lewis defines shame as an acutely painful emotion that is typically accompanied by a sense of shrinking or feeling small, and by a sense of worthlessness and powerlessness. Individuals whom are ashamed describe feeling exposed to the world and describe an intense desire to escape or hide. Lastly, when individuals are in a state of shame, they are more concerned with the appraisals of others and are self-impaired by global devaluation.
Dr. Brene Brown defines shame resilience as the ability to recognize shame when we experience it, move through it in a constructive way that allows us to maintain our authenticity, and grow from the experience. As we move through this process we become more resilient and have the ability to bounce back from shame. This does not mean that shame is eradicated from our lives, far from it in fact, rather it means that we develop awareness about shame and are able to snap out of shame and back into reality.
Behavioral Health can be defined as the point where mental health and addiction or compulsive behavior cross pathways. Behavioral Health researches how humans cope with stressors they encounter in their lives and understanding those coping behaviors. Stressors that can range from those occuring in daily life to specific instances of trauma. As humans we all utilize different coping behaviors that allow for us to manage everyday life, so in essence we all are addicted in some way. So what if we are all the same? What if we all have some set of compulsive behaviors that we use to manage everyday life? Behavioral Health research allows for us to gain insight into our coping behaviors and helps us find more productive ways to manage adversity.
Researcher Helen Lewis defines shame as an acutely painful emotion that is typically accompanied by a sense of shrinking or feeling small, and by a sense of worthlessness and powerlessness. Individuals whom are ashamed describe feeling exposed to the world and describe an intense desire to escape or hide. Lastly, when individuals are in a state of shame, they are more concerned with the appraisals of others and are self-impaired by global devaluation.
Dr. Brene Brown defines shame resilience as the ability to recognize shame when we experience it, move through it in a constructive way that allows us to maintain our authenticity, and grow from the experience. As we move through this process we become more resilient and have the ability to bounce back from shame. This does not mean that shame is eradicated from our lives, far from it in fact, rather it means that we develop awareness about shame and are able to snap out of shame and back into reality.
Behavioral Health can be defined as the point where mental health and addiction or compulsive behavior cross pathways. Behavioral Health researches how humans cope with stressors they encounter in their lives and understanding those coping behaviors. Stressors that can range from those occuring in daily life to specific instances of trauma. As humans we all utilize different coping behaviors that allow for us to manage everyday life, so in essence we all are addicted in some way. So what if we are all the same? What if we all have some set of compulsive behaviors that we use to manage everyday life? Behavioral Health research allows for us to gain insight into our coping behaviors and helps us find more productive ways to manage adversity.
Myth vs. Fact
Myth: Shame is felt by a small number of people
Fact: Everyone feels shame. No one is immune.
Myth: I have never felt shame
Fact: Shame is a universal feeling. Everyone experiences it from time to time. When a person is in shame they have a tendency to feel withdrawn, small, child-like, inferior, unworthy etc.
Myth: Behavioral health is only a concern for addicts.
Fact: Behavioral health concerns and involves everyone. Everyone has coping mechanisms. Do you shop, play video games, cook, clean, exercise, smoke, drink, play on the internet? These are all coping behaviors and when done in the extreme can be dangerous. People assume that only addicts have a problem but any activity or substance that is used as a way of checking out, zoning out or otherwise numbing the pains of life is an addiction.
Myth: If everyone experiences shame, then it must be normal.
Fact: Experiencing shame is normal. However, an awareness of what your shame triggers are helps you to identify and move through the shame in a more constructive manner. When you are in shame, the part of your brain that you would normally use does not work for you. You are pushed into a fight or flight mode which makes you more likely to behave or react in ways that you would not normally. In situations where you can identify that you are feeling shame, you can “pull” yourself from this mind frame.
Myth: An awareness of shame is the cure to never feeling shame again.
Fact: There is no cure for shame. It is not an emotion that goes away because you are aware of it. The best way to deal with shame is to build up your shame resiliency so that you can better deal with your shame. In doing this, you reduce your likelihood of using unhealthy behaviors to act out your shame.
Fact: Everyone feels shame. No one is immune.
Myth: I have never felt shame
Fact: Shame is a universal feeling. Everyone experiences it from time to time. When a person is in shame they have a tendency to feel withdrawn, small, child-like, inferior, unworthy etc.
Myth: Behavioral health is only a concern for addicts.
Fact: Behavioral health concerns and involves everyone. Everyone has coping mechanisms. Do you shop, play video games, cook, clean, exercise, smoke, drink, play on the internet? These are all coping behaviors and when done in the extreme can be dangerous. People assume that only addicts have a problem but any activity or substance that is used as a way of checking out, zoning out or otherwise numbing the pains of life is an addiction.
Myth: If everyone experiences shame, then it must be normal.
Fact: Experiencing shame is normal. However, an awareness of what your shame triggers are helps you to identify and move through the shame in a more constructive manner. When you are in shame, the part of your brain that you would normally use does not work for you. You are pushed into a fight or flight mode which makes you more likely to behave or react in ways that you would not normally. In situations where you can identify that you are feeling shame, you can “pull” yourself from this mind frame.
Myth: An awareness of shame is the cure to never feeling shame again.
Fact: There is no cure for shame. It is not an emotion that goes away because you are aware of it. The best way to deal with shame is to build up your shame resiliency so that you can better deal with your shame. In doing this, you reduce your likelihood of using unhealthy behaviors to act out your shame.
Guests Interviews
Coming Soon:
Brené Brown, Ph.D., LMSW
Member of the Research Faculty at the
University of Houston Graduate College of Social Work
BreneBrown.com
Ordinary Courage
Kimberly Murphy, GCSW student, had the pleasure of interviewing:
William M. (Mel) Taylor, MSW
President & CEO of
The Council on Alcohol and Drugs Houston
Top 10 Things I learned interviewing Mel Taylor:
1. Behavioral Health is the intersection between Addiction and Emotional Health.
2. Can't treat Mental Health without looking at Substance Abuse.
3. Shame is a cause or condition that exists at the base or root of our struggles.
4. We never get cured from our shame but we are aware of it when it comes up.
5. Treatment needs to go beyond abstinence. Not facing our feelings, emotions, our shame we become a "dry drunk."
6. Treatment plans should include both shame and the compulsive, addictive behavior.
7. Treating shame reduces compulsive, addictive behaviors.
8. Everyone experiences some level of shame and when unidentified we will self
medicate to numb ourselves of the pain.
9. Behavioral intervention and successful drug treatment must go together.
10. Fear keeps us from working on shame.
Robert Hilliker, GCSW student, had the pleasure of interviewing:
Sheree' Ahart, LCSW, LCDC
Founder & Executive Director of Adolescents In Recovery (AIR)
Owner of Katy Counseling Services (KCS)
Brené Brown, Ph.D., LMSW
Member of the Research Faculty at the
University of Houston Graduate College of Social Work
BreneBrown.com
Ordinary Courage
Kimberly Murphy, GCSW student, had the pleasure of interviewing:
William M. (Mel) Taylor, MSW
President & CEO of
The Council on Alcohol and Drugs Houston
Top 10 Things I learned interviewing Mel Taylor:
1. Behavioral Health is the intersection between Addiction and Emotional Health.
2. Can't treat Mental Health without looking at Substance Abuse.
3. Shame is a cause or condition that exists at the base or root of our struggles.
4. We never get cured from our shame but we are aware of it when it comes up.
5. Treatment needs to go beyond abstinence. Not facing our feelings, emotions, our shame we become a "dry drunk."
6. Treatment plans should include both shame and the compulsive, addictive behavior.
7. Treating shame reduces compulsive, addictive behaviors.
8. Everyone experiences some level of shame and when unidentified we will self
medicate to numb ourselves of the pain.
9. Behavioral intervention and successful drug treatment must go together.
10. Fear keeps us from working on shame.
Robert Hilliker, GCSW student, had the pleasure of interviewing:
Sheree' Ahart, LCSW, LCDC
Founder & Executive Director of Adolescents In Recovery (AIR)
Owner of Katy Counseling Services (KCS)
Informative Articles
Do you know the signs and symptoms of depression, anxiety or other mental illnesses?
Do you or a loved one suffer from an addiction to drugs, alcohol or a destructive behavior?
Do you find yourself under a great deal of stress and finding it difficult to handle?
Behavioral Health specialists have prepared a collection of informative articles covering a wide variety of topics.
Click on the link below to get answers to these and other important questions.
Main Line Health
Do you or a loved one suffer from an addiction to drugs, alcohol or a destructive behavior?
Do you find yourself under a great deal of stress and finding it difficult to handle?
Behavioral Health specialists have prepared a collection of informative articles covering a wide variety of topics.
Click on the link below to get answers to these and other important questions.
Main Line Health
Dr. Brene Brown on the Houston PBS show, Living Smart with Patricia Gras
Interview 1 of 2
Interview 2 of 2
Can Shame be a Good Thing?
Interview 2 of 2
Can Shame be a Good Thing?
Shame Resilience Theory Explained
When discussing shame and behavioral health we are posed with the question of the chicken or the egg. Meaning, which came first the behavioral health issue or the shame? Does a behavioral health issue fuel individual experiences of shame? Or, does shame fuel the desire to act-out/cope with a compulsive behavior? The answer is probably both! In either case the goal is shame resiliency.
The grounded theory of Shame Resilience by Brene’ Brown, Ph.D., LMSW consists of four elements. As Dr. Brown discusses, these elements are not necessarily linear but for the sake of format and easy discussion they will be presented in a linear way. Each step in the shame resilience model is placed on a continuum with dualities represented on each end of the continuum. Each part of the process is indispensable but does not necessarily happen in this order.
1. Recognizing Shame & Triggers
2. Practicing Critical Awareness
3. Reaching Out
4. Speaking Shame
VIEW THE FULL DOCUMENT
The grounded theory of Shame Resilience by Brene’ Brown, Ph.D., LMSW consists of four elements. As Dr. Brown discusses, these elements are not necessarily linear but for the sake of format and easy discussion they will be presented in a linear way. Each step in the shame resilience model is placed on a continuum with dualities represented on each end of the continuum. Each part of the process is indispensable but does not necessarily happen in this order.
1. Recognizing Shame & Triggers
2. Practicing Critical Awareness
3. Reaching Out
4. Speaking Shame
VIEW THE FULL DOCUMENT
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